What a Journey

 Its funny how in life you meet so many people. Some come in and out and others stay for the journey. This past year I embarked on a journey believing I could make a difference. It was something that changed my life and provided an opportunity to meet people outside my circle and help change lives around the world. I loved it. 

I met a very eclectic group of individuals. Most with very opposite belief systems and ways of life. I was exposed to differences and I found it to be extremely challenging yet intriguing. These people caused me to examine myself and my true inter most core values. I found myself to be the oldest of the group and most experienced among the lot which brought opportunity but an enormous responsibility. 

The work was something I found such joy in doing. It had been awhile since I had felt this way about work. After 30 years of working with battered and abused children and broken families I had hit a wall of burnout. Finding this charity birthed a new passion inside me during a time I didn't know how to break up the monotony that had become my daily life. All the abuse and sad stories had finally brought me to a place I lost my joy. 

Joining this group of young, vibrant people with a hope of changing lives was without question something that I found exhilarating. Stepping in I had no idea as to what was ahead. I met with this incredible woman from Thailand that was clearly passionate about helping others. In meeting her, along with the volunteer team she had created, filled me with excitement and possibility. Something inside of me wanted to help them and I knew I could. With my experience I was asked to join the board as the Treasurer. Having founded several non-profits and sat on boards I knew it would not be that bad and I figured I could help then go be hands and feet on the ground. Sadly thats not what happened. 

Within days of joining the board I had asked to see records, policies and financials but was shocked not much could be provided. This was the start of something I could never have predicted. The Charity did not have a solid or even stable foundation. The previous board had not established guidelines nor did they document or run the charity correctly. I found myself in a situation that I could've cut and run or stay and help them establish themselves as a true charity. In making the decision to stay, I understood very early on that I was going to be the one people would not enjoy because rules, policies and guidelines were going to have to be established. That decision has cost me over the last year. I have been targeted , bullied and made the reason for everything people believe has been done wrong. 

Often I'm described as a bullet train. I'm focused on results and I push not only myself but those around me to accomplish goals. Its not easy as I am often, more times than not, misunderstood. My bark is loud and my growl can be intimidating but I don't often have a bite. I love and care deeply and often struggle in knowing how to show it which makes it difficult for people to care about me. I'm the one that protects and cares for others and typically thats one sided. In joining this charity I had hoped to be a part, not to lead, but within days and weeks it became clear what was needed. I was surrounded by amazing people who had a heart to help they just didn't know how to do it properly. This doesn't make them bad people it makes them willing vessels. The time and energy each one put in was undoubtedly incredible. I really respected it. When working so much and as hard as we did together I began to care about each one but I'll talk about that later.

I had a heart for Thailand so everything that took place really hit me hard. I couldn't really talk about how I was feeling because I had people counting on me to help this charity through the mess that was found. 

More to come...